It should have been a link to the classic “Strong Kids, Safe Kids”.

Strong Kids Safe Kids

My sister and I were subjected to this edutaining video when we were kids. I think it was borrowed from a dark corner of the public library, while the VCR was rented from the grocery store, which was also a warehouse.

Anyway, I hope that order has been restored to the universe now.

Now I understand that during his rendition of Bésame Mucho he wasn’t trying to seduce me into the bedroom, he was trying to seduce me to the dark side of the the Force. Hard to see the dark side is.

You can see the sexy horse mutilator in all his well-lit glory on the Broadway World site.

It looks like all the writers of Harry Potter slash fiction toiling away with their capes, pointy hats, and hand lotions have been vindicated.

[tags]Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter, Equus, Naked, Hot[/tags]

It feels like a Buster Keaton or Charlie Chaplin movie set against works of art like Gustav Klimt’s the Kiss, or an Escher drawing. The movie includes some great sequences that hearken back to Popeye cartoons like Aladdin and his Wonderful Lamp, and Ali Baba’s 40 Thieves. You’ll probably recognize some of the character designs and plot points from Disney’s Aladdin, which this film inspired.

Vincent Price delivers a wonderfully playful performance as an evil Vizier. And though the Thief and the Cobbler are silent, both convey a great deal of character and emotion through their body language and great facial expressions.

The movie is delightfully anachronistic. It recalls a time when animation captured the joy of movement, and payed off on fantastically choreographed physical comedy. If you’re a fan of the very early stuff from Disney, Warner Brothers, and Max Fleischer, you’ll definitely get a kick out of it.

I don’t know if we’ll ever see a completed version of this cut. But thanks to Garrett Gilchrist’s fan restoration, we can all enjoy this remarkable piece of animation history.

Links you might like:

• Max Fleischer Cartoons – Freely downloadable from Archive.org
• Vintage Toon Cast – A video podcast featuring classic cartoons.
• ReFrederator – More classic cartoons via Channel Frederator

[tags]The Thief and the Cobbler, Richard Williams, YouTube, Animation, Restoration[/tags]

Last night I had the good fortune of seeing Mike, Kevin, and Bill perform RiffTrax live to Ben Affleck’s masterpiece, Daredevil. Was it as funny as MST3k? You bet. I’d say it rivaled some of the best experiments of yesteryear. Daredevil will soon be available for your downloading pleasure.

Here’s how RiffTrax works: First, you download Mike & the gang’s audio commentary from the internets. Next, you get ahold of a DVD of the movie (Netflix would be pretty convenient). Finally, you sync the movie to the audio file and, viola, DIY MST3K.

You could use an iPod or other portable MP3 player to sync. Or, since most computers have an MP3 and a DVD software installed, you can probably just do it on your desktop. I bet it would be great to have on your laptop during a trip.

Whether you’re a stalwart fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, or just an afficiando of bad movies, RiffTrax is well worth checking out.

BTW: Mike and Kevin have both contributed to the collective wisdom of the Library of Congress. If you like their work in RiffTrax, you may want to check out their other doings:

• Mike Nelson’s Movie Megacheese
• Mike Nelson’s Death Rat!: A Novel
• Happy Kitty Bunny Pony: A Saccharine Mouthful of Super Cute
• Goth-Icky: A Macabre Menagerie of Morbid Monstrosities (A Pop Ink Book)
• Love Sick: A Smoldering Look at Love, Lust, and Marriage
• Fluffy Humpy Poopy Puppy: A Ruff Dog-Eared Look at Man’s Best Friend
• Mike Nelson’s Mind over Matters
• A Year at the Movies: One Man’s Filmgoing Odyssey

[tags]RiffTrax, MST3K, Michael J. Nelson, Kevin Murphy, Bill Corbett[/tags]

[tags]Rocky Horror Picture Show, Transvestite, Breakdown, Soaps[/tags]

Pink Naricissus is the timeless story of a young man’s struggle inside of a vulva. I know, I know, we’ve seen it a million times. Boy flushes himself down urinal. Boy becomes slave to the Zoltar machine from Big. Boy puts butterfly on genitals. Bag lady meets boy. Sailor masturbates at bag lady. Boy is violated by local foliage.

Yes, it’s that old chestnut. But I think the film holds up because its message is as true today as it ever was. If a guy is hot, nothing else matters.

And the guy is, in point of fact, hot. This much is true. If you don’t find yourself creeped out by Mr. Anonymous’ opus, you may actually enjoy the proto-Gondry visual stylings. Some of it is genuinely cool.

I’ve heard it said that this is the movie that made Liberace gay. It’s possible that it might do the same to you. If you’re up for that, do check it out.
[tags]Pink Narcissus, James Bidgood, Michel Gondry, Anonymous, Liberace[/tags]

For those of you that haven’t been introduced to the Edies yet, Grey Gardensis a documentary that records the daily doings of two eccentric relatives of Jackie Kennedy.

The Beales, Big Edie and Little Edie, inhabit the titular [tag]Grey Gardens[/tag], a seaside estate in the Hamptons. Like the ladies themselves, the house is sort of falling apart and infested with raccoons.

… No, that’s being unfair. When you first see the Beales, Little Edie in particular, your reaction is something like, “holy crap, these are crazy people!” But, once you get to know them, they’re both really quite enchanting.

The relationship between the mother and daughter is at once sweet and horrifying. It’s the typical struggle of a teenage daughter pulling away from her mother, but unable to live on her own. What’s not typical, is that the struggle has been frozen in time for over 40 years.

It’s clear that the two women need each other, and yet both chafe from the years of reclusion together. They exchange songs and jibes, shout across the building, vie for the attention of a marble fawn, and gorge themselves on ice cream while sprawled out on newspaper lined twin beds.

Based the few hours of snippets in the movies, you get the feeling that their love for one another is genuine, even if it does misfire somewhat in the execution.

Watching either film can be kind of exhausting. Should you be laughing at the Beales? Should you feel sorry for them? Should you be angry Little Edie when she ignores her mother, or Big Edie when she cuts her daughter down?

I suspect that the answer is yes to all of the above, and more.

Toward the end of The Beales of Grey Gardensthere’s a scene where Little Edie, completely alone, goes for a swim in the big Atlantic Ocean. Watching it, I didn’t find myself laughing at her, or feeling sorry for her, or judging her. Instead I felt really really happy for her. Here is someone doing exactly what she wants to be doing, everyone else be damned. And someone like that, regardless of the cats, and the costumes, and dances, is a person to be reckoned with.
[tags]The Beales of Grey Gardens[/tags]

Her comedy is primarily rooted in hy-larious topics like rape, AIDS, and the holocaust. One of my favorite jokes, “When God gives you AIDS, (and God does give you AIDS by the way)… make lemon-AIDS.” That should give you a sense of how she mashes up the adorable and the horrifying in her routine.

Unlike a lot of shock comedy, Sarah never comes across as angry. Her persona is always sunny and self-absorbed and ready to follow up a horribly racist comment with something even more awful… or with a song.

Yes, a song. The movie includes several musical numbers. The songs are good for the most part, but best of all is the signature visual direction and musical arrangement of Liam Lynch. Liam is way cute, for a boy.

You may remember him from the Sifl & Olly show on MTV, or from that United States of Whatever song a few years ago.

If you’re looking for a regular Liam Lynch fix, he’s doing an excellent video podcast that you can subscribe to on iTunes. The shows are robust, to say the least. You can also pick up Fake Songs where he does spot on interpretations of the likes of Bjork, David Bowie, and the Pixies.

Oh, but back to Sarah… yes. If you like being offended (and I do), you’ll have a great time with her.

Sarah Silverman – Jesus is Magic

[tags]Sarah Silverman, Liam Lynch, Jesus is Magic, Fake Songs, Lemon-AIDS[/tags]