Maunderlust

[Updated]
How odd. This post was hijacked by spam full of spurious links to various prescription medications. I guess that’s what happens when you let a blog lay fallow for over a year.

It should have been a link to the classic “Strong Kids, Safe Kids”.

Strong Kids Safe Kids

My sister and I were subjected to this edutaining video when we were kids. I think it was borrowed from a dark corner of the public library, while the VCR was rented from the grocery store, which was also a warehouse.

Anyway, I hope that order has been restored to the universe now.

Residents of Oakland and labyrinth enthusiasts the world over have known for years that there exists a maze just east of San Francisco. This “[tag]MacArthur Maze[/tag]“, as it has come to be known, was designed centuries ago to keep would-be adventurers from discovering the treasure trove of affordable Swedish furniture hidden away by the [tag]Ottoman corsairs[/tag].

One wrong turn within this twisted refugee from Escher’s nightmares would lead you to a dank surface street that plunges straight into the heart of madness. Another, to a dead-end trail that terminates at the den of Bruce, the troll that lurks underneath the Bay Bridge waiting for the day that three goats will try to pass. A day that will never come.

Some of the most harrowing passages lead to KFC, but that’s actually pretty good. I can’t complain about that.

At any rate, some good samaratin recently destroyed a fair chunk of the foul maze, liberating its sub-human denizens from their endless days of orchid-eating and exposing them to the fair light of the sun – which unfortunately proved to be fatal.

Now there’s a lot of talk of rebuilding this collapsed part of the freeway. That’s all well and good, but I propose that we do not build a maze this time. Unless they intend to put a minotaur and/or David Bowie in it. In that case, I’m all for it. But if not, let us consider that mazes rarely make for speedy for efficient transportation.

I just found some sort of spammy site on the internets that includes snippets from this very blog. I feel somewhat inadequate, as this post is far more interesting than anything that I’ve actually written:

After a long hiatus Maunderlust group returns to Oprah s Debt Diet Step Create a Monthly Crazed Consumer Debt. So You Don’t Want To Become Terri Schiavo. The Greatness of the Circus Pre Atkins Pro Protein Diet. Monsters Inc. vs. the maunder verb talk in a rambling manner After a long hiatus Maunderlust returns to Oprah s Debt Diet Step Create a Monthly Bach Great. Bach Harpsichord. Bach John. Bach Kantate. Bach Keyboard Bach NEW

It’s very insightful. For one thing, I don’t want to become [tag]Terri Shiavo[/tag]. And I’m fascinated by the greatness of the [tag]circus[/tag] pre [tag]Atkins[/tag] pro protein diet. Does it consist entirely of circus peanuts? Does it include screenings of [tag]Monsters Inc.[/tag]? And how is [tag]Bach[/tag]’s harpsichord involved?

How indeed.

This gibberish raises more questions than it answers! I really wish I had thought of it.

Through [tag]Netscape[/tag]’s usually abominable news aggregator, I stumbled across this article: Seven Creative Tips for Amateur Video Game Makers.

Though it’s targeted at [tag]amateur designers[/tag], there’s a lot of solid advice that could be applied to professionals as well. Most notably: design on paper, continually reward players for playing, and broaden your horizons beyond [tag]video games[/tag] to come up with really interesting ideas.

There are other good articles on the site as well. Most are game related, but then there’s also one about how to spot [tag]abusive men[/tag]. I’m not sure how the two topics are related, but I suppose it’s good advice all the same. The cycle of abuse ends with you.

I just upgraded from [tag]wordpress[/tag] 2.1 to 2.1.3. Now there’s some strange white space at the top of the page above the header. Maybe it was always there, but I don’t remember it. I’m not web savvy enough to guess at what may have changed. I didn’t do anything to the [tag]K2[/tag] theme, and I thought that was what drove the look of everything.

Anyway, I’m going to poke around and see if there’s anything I can do about it. But I’m not totally convinced that it’s even worth trying to change.

[Update - It looks like the white space is on the K2 official site too. It must just be a part of the theme. My quick investigation did prompt me to upgrade to K2 9.5. So all's well that ends well.]

The other day somebody pointed out to me that [tag]Sanjaya Malakar[/tag] from [tag]American Idol[/tag] has the same haircut as [tag]Anakin Skywalker[/tag] from [tag]Star Wars: Episode III[/tag]. And as it turns out, it’s totally true.

Now I understand that during his rendition of Bésame Mucho he wasn’t trying to seduce me into the bedroom, he was trying to seduce me to the dark side of the the Force. Hard to see the dark side is.

Continue reading ‘Sanjanakin Skywalker’

SnakeWesker at the Worst. Blog. Ever. has taken a look at how game graphics have evolved in the last 20 years. The two examples used are The Legend of Zelda and the Metal Gear series. Both are pretty dramatic examples of franchises that started in the early 80’s as a loose jumble of pixels, and today offer fully realized worlds richly populated with 3D characters and interactive environments.

The question SankeWesker asks is where game art will go in the next 20 years. Have we hit the wall of diminishing returns? Do developers really want to plow through the Uncanny Valley and create game characters and worlds that are indistinguishable from the real world? Would that even be fun or interesting to the player?

Continue reading ‘This is not a Moblin’

I got Warioware: Smooth Moves for the Wii yesterday.

It’s a great example of how creative developers can get with the Wii remote. The game employs a number of unique stances, known as “forms”, that instruct you to hold the remote a particular way. Often these forms require you to move your entire body to complete a microgame. Sure, you can easily fake out the Wii’s robotic brain by doing tiny movements with the remote. But in so doing, you idnetify yourself a douche bag worthy of derision and beneath pity.

Speaking of which, I suspect that this is game is a dish best served multiplayer. The single player is fun. But, after awhile you might feel somewhat douchey holding the remote up to your nose like an elephant trunk. So I guess you’re a douche if you do, and a douche if you don’t. It’s a tough position to be in, but a sanitary one.

The single player game looks like it’s shorter than Warioware Twisted, which had a truly obscene amount of content. I’m okay with what Smooth Moves has to offer, but I’d have liked a few more unlockable toys and mini-games like there were on the handhelds.

What I find most exciting about Smooth Moves are all the nuggests of potential Wii gameplay that the package suggests. Yes, there are duds in the bunch. But, surprisingly few. I could see entire Wii games being built around some of the mechanics that Smooth Moves has introduced.

As a game to introduce people to the Wii remote, Smooth Moves isn’t quite as accessible as Wii Sports. In Wii Sports, the metaphors are extremely clear — The remote might be a tennis racket, a baseball bat, a golf club, and so on. Smooth Moves asks you to make some leaps — Hold the remote like a Mohawk, a Samurai, a Waiter, etc. But if you’re willing to meet the game half way, its humor and fast pace carry the day and deliver a great experience.

With the help of some flattering lighting and a dark and mysterious pubus area, the producers of Equus have managed to make Daniel Radcliffe crazy hot.

You can see the sexy horse mutilator in all his well-lit glory on the Broadway World site.

It looks like all the writers of Harry Potter slash fiction toiling away with their capes, pointy hats, and hand lotions have been vindicated.

[tags]Daniel Radcliffe, Harry Potter, Equus, Naked, Hot[/tags]

Last night I dreamed a dream.

In this dream FrankenBerry, Count Chocula, and Michael Clark Duncan came over to my house. My house was a cave, but it was decorated like a palace.

They wanted refreshments, so I made them the following cocktail:

• 1 cup frankenberries, ground in a blender
• 1/2 cup chocolate covered espresso beans, ground in a blender
• 1 part strawberry schnapps
• 1 part banana liqueur
• 1 part vodka
• A splash of vanilla extract
• 2 cups of iced milk
• Whipped cream aplenty

I called it the Lanky Franky, and served it to my guests from a pitcher resembling the Kool-Aid man. It was impossibly delicious, and it saved me from a beating at the hands of Michael Clark Duncan.

I do not have all of the ingredients to create my dream beverage. But, perhaps you do. If so, please, go forth and live my dream. And tell me how it tastes.

[tags]Cocktail, Dream, Frankenberry, Recipe[/tags]